Helping your Tween say “NO” without TURNING OFF their friends.

We all want our children to say no to drugs, cigarettes, sex, alcohol, and other dangerous situations. However, if you think back to your own tween years, you might recall what a powerful force peer pressure can be. Parents can help their tweens make more positive choices by not only telling them to say no, but helping them to learn how to say it effectively. Share this information and any other ideas you think might work for your child, practice it with them and encourage them to think of these skills when they are in a situation where they are uncomfortable.

Remember: Lots of Kids Choose Not to Drink, Smoke or Take Drugs. Here are Some Tips for Saying No!

TWEENS REALLY NEED:

Tip One: Remind yourself that you are in control.

Give yourself a moment to think about what you want to say. Remember – you don’t have to do something you don’t want to.

Tip Two: Look directly at the other person and firmly say “No” or “No Thanks”

This could be all it takes to get your point across. The sooner you make it clear you don’t want to drink, the less likely other people will be to pressure you.

Tip Three: Repeat what you’ve already said and explain why.

Sometimes it helps to point out why you are saying no. Simply say “I’m not interested in drinking because….” And then add something like this:
“…..It’s illegal and I don’t want to risk losing my driver’s license.”
“…..I’d get kicked off the team if I got caught.”
“…..It’s not worth what would happen if my parents found out.”

Tip Four: Suggest something else to do.

Saying no to a friend means letting that person know you’re rejecting the drink, not the friendship. You can do that by suggesting something else you can do together.
......“Instead of drinking, lets get a couple of movies and go over to my house to watch them.”
......“Let’s get out of here and get some pizza or see a movie.”

Tip Five: Get out of the situation.

Saying no doesn’t mean having to get involved in an argument or debate. And there’s no reason for you to stick around if you are being insulted or made fun of. If this is happening you can leave. Make arrangements with your parents before hand about how to handle this, and how you will get home. (Parents, it’s always a good idea to be at home, or with a cell phone where your child can reach you if they need to get out of a situation. Pick them up calmly and without a lecture. Recognize their good decision to call and come home.)

(Source: University of Wisconsin - Cooperative Extension)