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Discipline is an ongoing
process. It is about guiding your child in ways that support their
development of self-control and enhancing their self-worth. It is
the way you talk to them, the way you treat them, and the way you
live. It is the way you help your tween respond to the day-to-day
events in their lives.
6
Biggest Roadblocks to Good Discipline:
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TWEENS
REALLY NEED:
|
|
F
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Confusing
discipline with punishment. Discipline helps tweens develop self-control
and self-esteem. It teaches right from wrong. Punishment does little
to teach alternative behavior and can even damage the parent/child
relationship. |
|
F
|
Believing
that what works one time will work all the time. You need to change
the way you discipline your tween to keep pace with their growth.
Different ages will require different techniques. |
| F |
Thinking
that when you have difficulty disciplining a child, you are a “bad
parent.” Don’t put yourself down if you don't get the
results you want. Think it through and try again. |
| F |
Believing
your tween should behave a certain way at a certain time. Children
are unique and special. They develop at their own speed, in their
own way. |
| F |
Believing
you must “win” every battle. It is important to “pick
your battles.” Don’t fight over unimportant issues. |
| F |
Parents
disagreeing in front of a child about discipline. Solve serious
disagreements in private. |
Tips
to help you discipline in an effective manner:
Set reasonable limits. Setting reasonable limits
offers realistic guidelines for children and helps them feel secure.
When you set limits, stick to them and be consistent. If you don’t
stick to your limits, you will only confuse them and they may misbehave
even more.
Use consequences. Letting tweens learn from
experience can be very effective if done properly. Parents can tell
them ahead of time what the consequences of exceeding limits will
be. Remember that consequences will give youth choices, and you
must be willing to accept their decision.
Take corrective action as soon as possible.
It is important to correct misbehavior soon after it occurs. If
you don’t carry the discipline out…what are you teaching
your child?
Provide a short “cool down” time.
This gives you and your tween a chance to control any anger you
might be experiencing. Cool down time should be relatively short.
Just enough time to regain control and then discuss the issue.
|
(Source: Family Issues Facts,
University of Maine, Bulletin #4140)
Return to the Table
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Structure,
Role
Models, Values,
Good
Nutrition, Survival
Skills, Money Skills,
or Resistance
Skills.
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