Bullying Is Not Just The Way Kids Are

Bullying is a serious problem for children of any age. In order to prevent bullying, it is important to understand what it is and whom it involves.

Youth who are bullies typically demonstrate strong self-esteem and enjoy feeling powerful or in control. They often come from homes where caregivers are uninvolved. Bullies also tend to be disrespectful and defiant towards teachers or other adults who are in authority.

On the other hand, youth who are bullied tend to be anxious and have low self-esteem. They often lack friends and will not fight back when they are bullied. Caregivers of children who are bullied tend to be overprotective.

Bullying can be especially difficult and embarrassing for tweens. At this age, youth are very concerned with what their friends think of them. The self-image and friendships that they build at this age will affect them throughout their adolescent years. Because they often want to be independent and solve their own problems, tweens frequently will not tell a parent or teacher if they are having problems with a bully.

Research has shown, however, that bullying is a common problem. Over 16% of children between 6th and 10th grade report being bullied at some point during their years in school.

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, you need to look for clues. Signs of bullying include:

Types of Bullying:

One way to help is to work together to identify the situations that expose them to bullying and create an escape plan. For example, if your tween is being bullied as they walk to school, suggest that a different route be taken or suggest meeting friends to walk with. Work with your tween to build confidence and become more secure and less likely to be bullied.

Another method for combating bullying is to talk with school authorities and/or teachers. Let your tween know that you are planning to do this so that they will not be caught by surprise. By raising awareness of bullying within the school, you will make teachers or administrators more alert and more likely to intervene to prevent bullying. Furthermore, as awareness of bullying increases, other students may speak out.

Finally, continue to follow up with your tween to determine whether or not the bullying has ended.

For more information on bullying, check out the following websites:

Why Does My Tween Get Angry?

Your tween's fuse has gotten shorter and the emotional outbursts more frequent. Understanding the emotions beneath their anger can help you through this new emotional maze.

It has been found that tweens need to develop their own identity that is separate from their family and move toward independence. Anger often occurs when a child feels powerless or unable to control a situation.

When young teens feel out of control, they demand that someone notice. Slamming the door, stomping out of a room, or hitting their siblings are attempts to regain a sense of control over something. While these actions are unacceptable, it’s important that you acknowledge their anger while still setting clear limits on their behavior.

Teaching Acceptance

The face of America is changing. We are, more than ever before, a nation composed of all the ethnicities and races of the earth. America’s diversity in ethnicity and cultural characteristics will continue to grow. According to the U. S. Census, by the year 2056, there will be no one majority group in this country. America will be composed of multiple minority groups.

A few years from now, our school-aged youth will be working with all kinds of men and women - young and old; conservative, moderate, and liberal; of various races, religions, ethnic backgrounds, and with different physical and mental strengths and challenges. Learning to understand, accept and respect those who are different will go a long way towards preparing our future citizens for life in a culturally diverse society.

Parents have a tremendous opportunity and responsibility to help our children develop a high level of understanding, appreciation, and respect for individual differences in themselves and in others. The following are some ways parents can help tweens to appreciate and value diversity.

1. Be ready to talk about diversity issues with your children when they come up. Avoid making certain topics taboo.
   
   
2. Be sensitive to your nonverbal communication. Without speaking a word, facial expression, body language, and tone of voice send messages to your children that are loud and clear.
   
   
3. Watch media programs with your children. Point out stereotypes and cultural misinformation depicted in movies and television shows.
   
   
4. Include music from different cultures and display pictures that represent diversity in your home.
   
   
5. Get to know people from different cultures and social groups. Invite them to your home; your example will speak volumes to your children.
   
   
6. Celebrate cultural events and attend religious services with friends of different faiths. Invite others to share your cultural and religious experiences.
   
   
7. Confront prejudicial remarks made by other children - for example, remarks about people with physical or mental challenges, people from different religions, people speaking in a different language, people who have limited resources.
   
   
8. Help children learn about the rich cultural histories of their own ancestors. Talk about the lifestyle, the values, the special celebrations, the foods, and the dress of grandparents and great grandparents.
   
   
9. Encourage your teens to do community service in an organization of their choice that provides exposure to diverse people. If possible, go one step further and set the example by doing community service work yourself.
   
   
10. Be careful not to allow your children to automatically blame racism, sexism or other ism’s for their problems.