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Safe Surfing on the Internet Highway

Surfing…..Buddy List…..Instant Messaging…..Spam…..Cookie…..

 Familiar words, but with brand new meanings in the world of cyber space known as the Internet. With children often knowing more than adults when it comes to navigating in cyber space, parents can feel frustrated when trying to help their children on the net, and worry about how to keep them safe as they travel the world from their home.

As a parent, you probably have rules for how your children should deal with strangers, what TV shows they are allowed to watch, what store they are allowed to enter, and how far from home they are allowed to travel. It is important to make similar rules for your children’s Internet use.

Even without trying, your children can come across materials on the Internet that are obscene, pornographic, violent, hate filled, racist, or offensive in other ways.

  • Make sure your children understand what you consider appropriate for them. Set clear, reasonable rules, as well as consequences for breaking them.
  • Make online exploration a family activity. Put the computer in a much used area like the living room or kitchen.
  • Pay attention to games your older child might download or copy. Some could be violent or contain sexual content.
  • Look into software or online services that filter or block access to inappropriate materials. These can be helpful, but nothing replaces your supervision.
  • Limit time on the Internet. Do not let it become a replacement for person to person interaction with family and friends.

There are many wonderful things the Internet can bring to you and your children. Use it wisely and safely and help your children do the same.

This article is adapted from the publication Parent’s Guide to the Internet from the U.S. Department of Education. If you would like the complete publication call 1-877-433-7827 or order online at (http://www.ed.gov/pubs/edpubs.html) You may also download the publication from (http://www.ed.gov)

Internet Safety Tips


Competition vs. Cooperation
Researcher #1 feels that competition is part of human nature, something that is faced in everyday life. Researcher #2 feels that cooperation, not competition, is a more valuable learning experience for youth. Research clearly shows that cooperative learning produces higher achievement and healthier self-esteem than competitive programs. It is more than likely that a combination of competition and cooperation promotes healthy development for children and youth.

Competition in itself is not bad. It can serve as a means of social comparison that is necessary for children to see how they are unique from others. However, taken to the extreme, competition can cause individuals to act in ways that are unacceptable and inappropriate. Parents and youth programs should emphasize cooperation and mastery. A mastery perspective allows the youth to accept failures and learn from them, to focus on improvement and not just on winning.

Introduce competition gradually from ages eight through fifteen for several reasons. First, competition restricts participation; competing in a contest or a sport can help youth to learn and develop skills, but this cannot happen if the young person is sitting on the bench all the time. Second, competition tends to emphasize winning instead of skill learning, creativity, and fun. If they are going to improve and enjoy themselves, youth need to focus their energies on the playing and learning instead of the outcome of winning. Third, competition can create a high level of anxiety. This high level of anxiety makes it quite difficult for youth to learn and have fun.



Parents' Role

Parents can help their tween with keeping competition in perspective by doing the following five things:

1.
 Focus on the skill component of the program. Ask your youth what they learned from the experience.
2.
 Draw attention away from the reward component and provide symbolic rewards that emphasize the development of a skill.
3.
 Encourage a balance of activities to make sure that your tween is involved in both cooperative and competitive activities.
4.
 Set an example of fairness and friendliness.
5.
 Remember that tweens are unique individuals and should be encouraged to explore multiple opportunities. Do not force your child to compete.


How Well Do You Know Your Tween?

Knowing your tweens helps parents understand what makes them sad, happy or angry and is key to know when something is wrong. How many of these questions can you answer?

  1. What is your tween’s favorite musical group?

  2. Is your tween interested in anyone in particular? (first and last name) Have you met this person?

  3. What are the first and last names of your tween’s 5 best friends?

  4. What are the parents' or guardians names of your tween’s 5 best friends?

  5. What would your tween like to do as a career?

  6. Who is your tween’s hero (or who do they look up to) and why?

Return to the Table of Contents or continue to Introduction and credits, Peer Challenges, Communication Challenges, The Challenge of Teaching Tweens Needed Survival Skills, Health Challenges, Development Challenges, or Responsibility Challenges.
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This page last updated Thursday, August 8, 2002 10:08
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