Between the ages of 10 and 15, young people begin to take risks and experiment. They do so because they are moving from a family centered world to the larger community where they will begin to define their identity. They may choose friends you do not approve of or try alcohol. They may wear clothing that is trendy, or break rules imposed by you or the larger community.

Through these actions, tweens are testing their limits. They are recreating themselves in a manner that will allow them to survive without the day-to-day guidance of their parents. They also are trying to shift the balance of power and authority in their own direction. Parents are understandably troubled by the nature of some adolescent behavior. They also worry about actions that may threaten their child’s safety.

While there are no easy answers, there are strategies that may help you support your adolescence while reducing the risk of harm to either your tween or another person.

First, educate yourself about adolescent development. Know what to expect and understand the changes your tween is going through. You might recall your own tween years and look at your tween’s behavior in the context of your memories.

Another thing that you can do is to listen more than talk. Adolescents want and need the chance to share feelings and ideas.

Furthermore, enlighten your tween about the joys and troubles of life and ways to revel in the good times and cope with the bad. The myths that life is always easy or fair or that one should always be happy can lead to frustration for young people dealing with the realities of life.

It is imperative to teach your adolescent that rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. Give your child increasing responsibility for her personal well being and that of the family. Provide your child with opportunities to help around the house and to become involved in family decision making discussions.

Help your tween move toward independence. Being in sync with your child’s attempts to operate independently will help you support those efforts and provide guidance when early attempts at decision making result in less than the desired outcomes.

Spend quality and quantity time with your adolescent. Time spent with caring parents is key to young people’s ability to grow emotionally and socially. Take advantage of times that your tween is home to build your relationship. Become involved in your child’s outside interests.

You may feel frustrated, angry, or sad during difficult times. Being a good parent doesn’t mean being perfect. Apologize when you feel that you let your emotions get the best of you. Your example will help your child understand human frailty and ways of mending strained relationships.

Lastly, provide your tween with opportunities to grow. Reflect on what you want for your children: health, happiness, and movement toward a promising future. Offer them chances to strengthen their skills and develop a sense of competence, usefulness, and belonging.