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ADOLESCENT STRESS

Topics:

What Stresses Adolescents?

How Can Adults Help Tweens Cope with Stresses?

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The most common sources of day-to-day stress for young adolescents in grades six through nine:

Problems with peers (including "romances")
Family issues or problems with parents
School-related problems or pressures
Their own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors (feeling depressed or lonely, getting into trouble because of their behavior)

Of course, these problems are fairly routine for most tweens. Kids who live in different places, though, may face different kinds of stressors. Some adolescents live in neighborhoods with high rates of crime and violence. Others live in isolated, rural areas. Obviously, they’ll have different kinds of problems.

WHAT STRESSES ADOLESCENTS?

When we talk about stress, most people think about how we react to problems that are difficult to deal with. Sometimes these problems are major "life events" that are unexpected or unusual. Parents may be going through a divorce. Young tweens may be breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Perhaps the adolescent has been hurt in an accident. Other problems are more common day-to-day difficulties. From studies with adolescents, we have learned two important things.

A "pileup" of many stressful life events in a small amount of time is more difficult for adolescents than dealing with just one event.

Ongoing, day-to-day stresses and strains are harder on adolescents than major life events. If a major event causes stress, it is often because it sets off a chain of events that changes the on-going, day-to-day conditions of their lives.

How can adults help tweens cope with stresses? Helping young adolescents cope with stress is an important task. You are preparing them to face the challenges that lie ahead. Adults can help tweens solve problems and manage their emotions in at least three ways:

1. PROVIDE HELP, ENCOURAGEMENT, AND SUPPORT

	Encourage young adolescents to talk about what they are going through, and be willing to listen. Ask questions so you can understand the problem. Don’t just jump to conclusions and give advice. Depending on the situation, tweens may not want advice. They may just want to be understood. Even if a problem seems small to you, it may be a major concern for the tween. Minimizing a problem or saying "you’ll get over it" is not helpful. It gives the message that you don’t understand or are not willing to listen. Ask them if they want your advice or if they would like to know what you would do.
	Encourage tweens to participate in activities they normally enjoy.
	Offer reassurance, encouragement, and support. Be willing to provide verbal or physical comfort, but don’t be discouraged if the tween rejects your effort or is irritable. These are normal reactions to stress. Be patient and let the tween know you’re available if he needs you.
	Continue to provide structure, stability, and predictability. Within reason, stick to the same rules, roles, and routines.
	Try to build a relationship so that your tween will feel comfortable coming to you when he needs help. It helps if he can just express how he feels or what he is going through.

2. HELP TWEENS MANAGE THEIR EMOTIONS

	Teach tweens safe ways to blow off steam and relax. They could go for walks, play basketball, listen to music, or talk with someone.
	Help tweens develop ways to see problems and situations in a different light. Get them to see the positive side of things and to talk to themselves to help manage their emotions.

3. SEEK HELP YOURSELF IF YOU NEED IT

Helping an adolescent can sometimes be discouraging or frustrating. Monitor your own stress levels and take care of yourself. Be willing to seek help or support from others, especially if you feel like you are in over your head and can’t deal with the tween. A school counselor or social worker can give you information or advice on where to find help. You could also try a member of the clergy, the local mental health center, or your health-care provider.

Penn State | College of Agricultural Sciences | Cooperative Extension & Outreach

This page last updated Wednesday, May 1, 2002

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